Genesis 18:23 says “And Abraham drew near, and said. “Will thou also
destroy the righteous with the wicked?”
The loss of a child, that has walked away from the faith is likely one of the hardest
trials for a parent on earth bringing enormous grief for you.
God does not expect you to accept the loss without feeling the overwhelming
weight of loss and confusion. Jesus himself was called “the Man of Sorrows.” He
lamented over Israel’s rejection of him as the Messiah, saying, “I have longed to
gather you … like a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you would not”
(Matthew 23:37). Everywhere Jesus went, he drew close to the brokenhearted and
oppressed. He loves us like a parent, and he feels loss like a parent.
There’s some good news for you. God intends to walk with you through your
suffering, grow you in your suffering, and deliver you from it. By engaging in prayer
for your child, we may receive this comfort from God who will, through your
suffering, grow you in your suffering, and deliver you from it. By engaging in prayer
for your child, we may receive this comfort from God.
But we can’t pigeonhole God into blessing what we want or protecting us from the
pain we don’t want. But we can approach God in prayer and let the Spirit groan for
us when we don’t have the words (Rom 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our
infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit
itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Rom 8:27
And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he
maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.)
Open to Genesis 18:23
Gen 18:23 And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous
with the wicked?
Gen 18:24 Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also
destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein?
Gen 18:25 That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with
the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee:
Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?
Gen 18:26 And the LORD said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I
will spare all the place for their sakes.
Gen 18:27 And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to
speak unto the Lord, which am but dust and ashes:
Gen 18:28 Peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous: wilt thou destroy
all the city for lack of five? And he said, If I find there forty and five, I will not destroy
it.
Gen 18:29 And he spake unto him yet again, and said, Peradventure there shall be
forty found there. And he said, I will not do it for forty's sake.
Gen 18:30 And he said unto him, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak:
Peradventure there shall thirty be found there. And he said, I will not do it, if I find
thirty there.
Gen 18:31 And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord:
Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for
twenty's sake.
Gen 18:32 And he said, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak yet but this
once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for
ten's sake.
Mrs White writing Manuscript 19, 1886
And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the
wicked? Genesis 18:23.
We are told that Abraham drew near and said: “Wilt thou also destroy the righteous
with the wicked?” While Abraham had a true sense of humility that every child of
God should possess, yet he had an intense interest in the souls of sinners. He is
represented as drawing near. He steps close to those heavenly messengers and
pleads with them as a child would plead with its parents. He remembers that Lot has
made his home in Sodom and that Lot has connections all through Sodom by
marriage. Therefore Abraham commences at fifty, and the Lord tells him that He will
spare it for fifty; then he goes down to ten, and the Lord tells him that He will spare
it for ten's sake. He does not make any further appeal, but he does hope that there
will be found ten righteous [persons] in Sodom.
But when the angels came to Sodom, they could not find even five righteous ones in
that splendid city, so we may reason that there may be the most splendid cities,
having the greatest wealth, and yet there may not be found five righteous in them.
Here Abraham stands as one who is a representative for God, and his history is
brought down along the line to our time. Abraham's interest and anxiety for Sodom
is a lesson to us that we should have an intense interest for those around us.
Although we should hate the sin, we should love the souls of those for whom
Christ died. And then we should feel most grateful to God that we have One who is
pleading in the heavens above in our behalf.
Jesus knows the worth of every soul because it is He who paid the price for
everyone. When He was in His agony at the crucifixion, He prayed there for His
enemies and He said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” And
here, as we see in the case of Abraham, He pleads for the guilty as one person
pleads for another. We should [offer] that [same] earnest prayer for those who are
in darkness.—Manuscript 19, 1886.
What is it that we can do when we see our loved ones choosing their on way?
We all know that prayer is necessary for a Christian to remain strong in the Lord and
necessary in God’s work. Those who we know are outside of Christ and living under
Satan’s power are in a very dangerous position as we all know. Their eternal destiny
is in jeopardy if they don’t change. I pass the cemetery all the time and realize the
people buried there, that their fate is sealed, and most of them never had changed
lives. Yet of themselves they were powerless to change. Paul describes them as
those whose minds have been blinded by Satan. Listen to what Paul says in 2 Cor 4:
3&4 that will encourage us all that we may have missed, a lost gem discovered in
what will give us hope.
“But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are Lost: in whom the god of this
world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the
glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them” (2Cor;
4:3,4)
In this verse that I read, I want you to notice the word “hid”
You see, the lost are blinded to the gospel because it is “hid” from their view.
The word translated hid is the Greek word kalupsis, which refers to a “Veil” The key
to saving the lost is to remove the veil that blinds them. By adding the prefix apo to
the Greek word for Veil the word becomes “revelation,” or unveiling. Hence, the lost
need an unveiling, or a revelation of God’s truth.
The lost don’t need more information- They need an unveiling of their
understanding so they can “see” the truth of the gospel. When I say no more
information, I mean indoctrination!
How can this unveiling happen in the lives of the lost?
Intercessory prayer! It will remove from the mind of the unbeliever the veil causing
spiritual blindness.
Paul wrote, “Satan has false imaginations, or thoughts and strongholds, well
established in the minds of the lost. The good news is that God has given the
Christian the authority to pull down Satan’s strongholds and to bring “into captivity
every thought to the obedience of Christ. (2Cor, 10:4 &5)
Ellen White clearly understood the necessity of prayer for those outside of Christ
when she wrote: “Through much prayer you must labor for souls, for this is the only
method by which
you can reach the heart. It is not your work, but the work of Christ who is by your
side, that impresses hearts” (Evangelism, P.341)
The work of the holy spirit on a person’s unconverted heart is like a peony
flower. Spring time is a special time for me when it comes to the peony flower.
Did you know that they can not open, unless a small black ants eats away a
wax that is on the closed petals? Same way, the holy spirit comes and works
on the heart, and peels away the layers to open a new life in Christ in full
bloom!
Helpful suggestions to straighten out yourself to face the battle with Christ in front.
1. Love your child as God does. Love them unconditionally.
In Scripture, we learn that God’s salvation requires a confession of faith and
repentance. But God’s love requires nothing from us. Nothing at all. We don’t have
to do one thing for God to love us. We can break every rule in the Book. We can live
a life of unbelief, of disregard, or even disdain for God and His ways. We can be an
absolute reprobate, squandering every gift and hurting others in the process—and
God will still love us. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. (Romans 8:35-
39)
If God’s love requires nothing from us, our love for our kids must require nothing
from them. And they need to know that. They need to feel that Godly, unconditional
love from us. If they never do another good or right thing in their life, they need to
know that we still love them. Our love must not require performance, or rule-
keeping, or righteous living or agreement with what we believe. Because God’s love
doesn’t require any of that.
The Bible tells us that the Good Shepherd will leave the 99 little lambs who are living
right, who are in the fold, who are ministering and using their gifts for God’s glory, in
order to go and find the one who is wandering.
Our love for our kids needs to pursue them as God does. Requiring nothing. Loving
them exactly where they are. Unconditionally
2. Stop with the blame game.
When something goes wrong in life, we are tempted to start pointing fingers. But
when a child walks away from the faith, a faith that you tried to impart to them, we
need to put the blame where it belongs and not where it doesn’t.
Where should we not put the blame?
Stop blaming yourself. Were you too lenient? Were you too legalistic? Did you not
teach them enough? Did you preach at them too much? Chances are you erred on
one side of these fault lines. We all do.
Did you fail to do something that you didn’t know you needed to do? Did you fail to
protect or train them in some way? Did your own faults create some wounds in your
child? Ah… yes, yes, and yes. I can answer “yes” to all of those questions already, We
all miss the mark in our parenting.
Whether your adult or adolescent kids are walking with the Lord or not, you didn’t
parent perfectly because you aren’t perfect. We are all human and we make
mistakes in our parenting. No one parents perfectly except God.
Rest in the fact that God is the perfect parent and allow Him to make up for where
you fell short. That is what grace is for, so give yourself some grace.
Also, stop blaming your child
Yes, they have rejected what you taught them. They have rejected the faith, and
they may be accumulating a healthy list of don’ts on the do’s and don’t list. That list
doesn’t procure our salvation. Blaming your child for all their mistakes won’t
accomplish anything good, and it certainly won’t encourage them to return to God.
Or to you.
If your child has walked away from the faith, you need to place the blame where it
does belong. That is on the enemy, the great liar and deceiver. Get mad at him. Not
yourself and not your child. Refuse to put the blame anywhere else, because it won’t
do you or your child any good.
3. Recognize that you are in a battle.
If your child is not walking with the Lord, he or she is in a battle. And if your child is
in a battle, so are you. You need a victory. Recognize that and get your battle plan in
order. Because believe me, the enemy has a battle plan to destroy your child. He
knows your child, personally, and he has a specific strategy to take him or her down.
The Apostle Peter tells us to “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil
prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)
If the enemy has a battle plan, you need one as well. And as the parent, you must
lead the charge in this fight. Nobody on this planet cares about your child more than
you do. You are the General here. So smear some blue paint on your face and GO TO
WAR!
And know this—battles can be won!
What is the first step in your battle plan? That is step #4.
4. Gather your weapons.
The first thing you need in a war is some weapons.
What is our weapon as Believers? Our weapon is the Word.
The Word of God is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword.
(Hebrews 4:12)
If you look at the armor of God in Ephesians 6, there is only one actual weapon
mentioned. Every other part of that armor is a defensive item. There is a belt of
truth and a breastplate of righteousness. There is a shield of faith and a helmet of
salvation. Our only offensive weapon is the Word. It is the Bible. You need to use the
Word of God to combat the deception of the enemy in your child’s life.
How do you do that?
Gather a list of Scriptures to use as you war in prayer for your child’s destiny, for
their soul.
Then ask the Lord to give you some very specific Scriptures to pray over your child
and keep growing the list. Print it out. Put it in your purse or your briefcase. Put one
on your nightstand. Put one in your bathroom. Keep one in your car and in your desk
at work. And use them. Pray these Scriptures over your child every day. When you
get discouraged, take out that list and start praying. And your faith will grow. There
is nothing more powerful than praying the Word God of God over your children,
over any situation. So get your weapons assembled.
5. Get a prayer plan.
It is a given that prayer is the central part of any spiritual battle.
J. Edwin Orr, a Biblical scholar and preacher of true revival, wrote, “History is silent
on revivals that did not begin with prayer.” If you want your child to have a revival in
their heart, start praying.
If you don’t consider yourself a prayer warrior, don’t worry. Prayer warriors aren’t
born. They are formed. And becoming a prayer warrior isn’t as hard as you might
think.
In an article I read it said if you are new to this type of consistent intercession, start
with praying five minutes in the morning when you get up and five minutes at night
before you go to bed. If you have a spouse who is willing to join you in this effort, by
all means, do it together. If you don’t have a spouse but you do have another family
member or close friend, someone who loves your child and is invested in them, ask
them to join you. Perhaps you could pray together once or twice a week. I will touch
on praying together in just a few minutes,
Just think… even with five minutes twice a day, you would pray for your child’s
salvation 70 minutes a week!
And then you might slowly build that time. Perhaps you could pray 10 minutes,
twice a day. Or you could pray at lunch or during your commute to work. Ask the
Lord to give you a prayer strategy of when to pray and how much to pray, and get in
a routine.
And rest assured, as parents you have a unique authority in your child’s life. Your
prayers over them are powerful!
6. Consider fasting.
Fasting is a powerful weapon to add to your arsenal. If your child has walked away
from the faith, there are some serious strongholds in his or her life. Fasting breaks
strongholds.
Perhaps you could fast one day a week or one meal a week. Or you could fast certain
types of foods or something completely different, like media.
Finally, a couple of things to recognize if your child has walked away from the faith:
Recognize that they need your love more than a lecture. Chances are, they know the
truth. And they are running from it. Let them know that you love them
anyway—because God sure does.
And recognize that your child’s faith journey is a marathon, not a sprint. And their
way back to God may be a marathon not a sprint. Your prayers, your fasting, your
faith, and your unconditional love will help to pave the way back home. There may
be some Adventist books that you could read to help you on your journey with your
child. Mrs White sure has a lot to say that’s for sure!
PRAYING IN A GROUP
As I mentioned earlier, lets start a group to pray for our children:
The bible says in Matt. 18:19
Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing
that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
Mrs White expressed her feelings about praying as a group. Found in Maranatha
page 38 she writes:
“I remember in Battle Creek when there were those who felt the burden for the
unconverted, and those who were in darkness and saw no light; then prayer
meetings were appointed that they might make the strength of God their strength,
In every case the heavenly intelligences worked with these efforts, and souls were
saved. Come on, with this power available,
Let me continue on..
If here is a large number in the church, let the members be formed into small
companies, (that;s us) to work not only for the church members, but for unbelievers.
If in one place there are only two or three who know the truth, let them form
themselves in a band of workers. Let them keep their bond of union unbroken,
pressing together in love and unity, encouraging one another to advance, each
gaining courage and strength from the assistance of the others, Let them reveal
Christ like forbearance and patience, speaking no hasty words, using the talent of
speech to build one another up in the most holy faith. Let then labor in Christ like
love for those outside the fold…As they work and pray in Christ’s name, their
numbers will increase”…. Let’s do this!
“Why do not believers feel a deeper, more earnest concern for those who are out of
Christ? Why do not two or three meet together and plead with God for the salvation
of some special one, and then for still another?” 7 T p. 214 Special one? I can’t think
of any one more special then our kids!
Mention their name; “And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, Satan hath desired to have
you sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fall not: and when
thou art converted strengthen thy brethren Luke 22:31,32
Can you think of Bible stories that will increase your faith in praying for others?
I think of How Moses has his hands held up by Aaron and Hur to win a battle.
As Joshua fought the Amalekites in the Valley of Rephidim, Aaron and Hur went to
the top of the hill with Moses. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites
would prevail, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites prevailed, Exodus
17
I think of Job 42 verse 10, when he started to pray for his friends God ended the trial
And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the
Lord gave Job twice s much as he had before.
“Without me,” Christ says, “ye can do nothing.” Then be sure to open the heart to
Jesus. Let simple prayer go up from your heart to God, pleading that you may not fail
to appreciate his promises, and to understand the conditions upon which salvation is
given. Plead this, not only for your own satisfaction, but that you may make the way
of salvation plain to those that are in darkness. We must approach unto God with
the simplicity of a little child, and present to him his pledged word. Educating the
soul to the simplicity of faith, will be the very discipline best suited to the work we
shall be called upon to do for those who are in the world, without God or hope. The
minds of the worldly are dull of comprehension regarding spiritual things, and it will call for simplicity to deal with them, and teach them of the blessings that those may
have who daily follow the Lamb of God whithersoever he goeth. The truth will need
to be presented and made as simple as the A-B-C of the alphabet is made to the
primary pupil. Take the simplest truth, bringing Christ before the mind, and angels
will cooperate with you in making the impression upon the honest inquirer. You are
to be the agent through whom God will speak to the soul. Precious things will be
brought to your remembrance, and with a heart overflowing with the love of Jesus,
you will speak words of vital interest and import. Your simplicity and sincerity will be
the highest eloquence, and your words will be registered in the books of heaven as
fit words, which are like apples of gold in pictures of silver. God will make them a
healing flood of heavenly influence, awakening conviction and desire, and Jesus will
add his intercession to your prayers, and claim for the sinner the gift of the Holy
Spirit, and pour it upon his soul. And there will be joy in the presence of the angels
of God over one sinner that repenteth. “Without me,” Christ says, “ye can do
nothing.” Then be sure to open the heart to Jesus. Let simple prayer go up from your
heart to God, pleading that you may not fail to appreciate his promises, and to
understand the conditions upon which salvation is given. Plead this, not only for
your own satisfaction, but that you may make the way of salvation plain to those
that are in darkness. We must approach unto God with the simplicity of a little child,
and present to him his pledged word. Educating the soul to the simplicity of faith,
will be the very discipline best suited to the work we shall be called upon to do for
those who are in the world, without God or hope. The minds of the worldly are dull
of comprehension regarding spiritual things, and it will call for simplicity to deal with
them, and teach them of the blessings that those may have who daily follow the
Lamb of God whithersoever he goeth. The truth will need to be presented and made
as simple as the A-B-C of the alphabet is made to the primary pupil. Take the
simplest truth, bringing Christ before the mind, and angels will cooperate with you in
making the impression upon the honest inquirer. You are to be the agent through
whom God will speak to the soul. Precious things will be brought to your
remembrance, and with a heart overflowing with the love of Jesus, you will speak
words of vital interest and import. Your simplicity and sincerity will be the highest
eloquence, and your words will be registered in the books of heaven as fit words,
which are like apples of gold in pictures of silver. God will make them a healing flood
of heavenly influence, awakening conviction and desire, and Jesus will add his
intercession to your prayers, and claim for the sinner the gift of the Holy Spirit, and
pour it upon his soul. And there will be joy in the presence of the angels of God over
one sinner that repenteth. (YI May 4, 1893, par 10)
Let our testimonies be sharpened up; let us have a firmer hold on God. I cannot
refrain from prayer at one, two, and three clock in the morning for the Lord to
work upon the hearts of the people. I think of all heaven being interested in the
work that is going on upon the earth. Ministering angels are waiting about the
throne to instantly obey the mandate of Jesus Christ to answer every prayer offered
in earnest, living faith. I think of how many who profess the truth are keeping it apart from their lives. They do not bring its sanctifying, refining, spiritualizing power
into their hearts….(2SM 377.1)
Isa 49:25 But thus saith the LORD, Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken
away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered: for I will contend with him that
contendeth with thee, and I will save thy children.
Closing thoughts
Intercessory Prayer: Quotes from Mrs White and the Bible
Mrs white states, Intercessory prayer is powerful because in the Great Controversy
there are certain ground rules that both sides are following. When you pray, you
invite God to work in a way that He would not have been able to work if you had not
prayed.
“Ministering angels are waiting about the throne to instantly obey the mandate of
Jesus Christ to answer every prayer offered in earnest, living faith. 2 SM p. 377
Intercessory Prayer Does 4 things for you:
1. Gives you a love for souls!
2. Strengthens your own walk with God.
3. You will be in tune with how the Holy Spirit is working in their life.
4. You will be in tune with how the Holy Spirit is working in your life
Word of caution:
In 2 SM p 377, Mrs White continues, Many, even in their seasons of devotion, fail of
receiving the blessing of real communion with God. They are in too great haste. With
hurried steps they press through the circle of Christ’s loving presence, pausing
perhaps a moment within the sacred precincts, but not waiting for counsel. They
have no time to remain with the divine Teacher. With their burdens they return to
their work. These workers can never attain the highest success until they learn the
secret of strength. They must give themselves time to think, to pray, to wait upon
God for a renewal of physical, mental, and Spiritual power.”
My thoughts bring me to remember with Jesus prayed when he had no time left for
the soldiers while he hug on the cross? Jesus had time for them. The thief heard this,
and knew maybe God would forgive him.
Bottom line for praying for our loved ones…
A Word of hope and the Tower of Strength quote: You are to be the agent through
who God will speak to the soul. Previous things will be brought to your
remembrance, and with a heat overflowing with the love of Jesus, you will speak
words of vital interest and import. Your simplicity and sincerity will be the highest
eloquence, and your words will be registered in the books of heaven as fit words,
which are like apples of gold in pictures of silver. God will make them a healing flood
of heavenly influence, awakening conviction and desire, and Jesus will add His
intercession to your prayers, and claim for the sinner the gift of
the Holy Spirit ,and pour it upon his soul. And there will be joy in the presence of the
angels of God over one sinner that has repented.
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